kasih andriyana

si kecil comel

2012-01-21T09:15:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah....syukur kehadrat Ilahi...saya telah selamat melahirkan seorang puteri pada 30 disember 2011 yang lalu. sekarang saya sudah 3 minggu berpantang dan berada di rumah emak saya.

memang agak lambat meng-up-date blog saya kerana kesihatan yang tak berapa mengizinkan.

walau apa pun saya tetap gembira dengan kehadiran si kecil comel...mengingatkan balik detik-detik yang saya lalui, memang tak boleh dilupakan. lahir seminggu lebih awal memang tak disangka-sangka. ingatkan ada la masa lagi...dalam kepala otak saya ni ingat nak buat macam-macam sebelum sampainya due. tapi...manakan tau, tup-tup....

pagi pada hari khamis bersejarah tu saya pergi check-up mengandung ditemani suami. doktor scan sebab da masuk minggu ke-38. bila doktor scan, tiba-tiba dia kata "alamak"...saya pun dalam hati berkata "alamak? apa kes?"... bila saya tanya rupa-rupanya breech. baby saya songsang. hati saya da mula la dup dap dup dap. da saat-saat akhir macam ni jawapannya operate la nampaknya. mula la saya rasa susah hati. doktor yang in-charge suruh pergi jumpa pakar kat klinik o&g esok paginya. saya pun tak banyak cakap cuma "ok lah".

petang tu saya macam biasa la duduk rumah bersantai tengok tv. suami saya pulak seingat saya bermesyuarat tingkap (mengeteh) dengan geng-geng tingkapnya. bila dia balik rumah kebetulan saya tengah beria-ia menangis menonton drama tv 'tentang dhia'...al maklumlah last episod. itu yang dia bantai gelak kat saya...saya yang malu sempat la bergurau gaduh dengan dia. habis 'tentang dhia' suami saya ajak pergi makan. time ni saya da terasa sakit lain macam. tapi teringat saya baca dalam buku, ini mungkin contraction palsu...tambahan lagi due saya ada seminggu lagi. jadi..saya tahan kan je la. tapi makin lama makin kuat pulak sakitnya. saya mula mengira waktu. mula-mula sakit yang datang selang 5 minit...makin lama jadi makin dekat 3 minit. memang tak boleh nak tahan akhirnya kami decide pergi hospital.

sampai hospital - memang betul saya sakit nak bersalin. doktor check jalan da buka 4cm. tapi masalahnya bayi saya songsang. bila doktor dapat tau mula la dia tanya 'kenapa tak datang awal?'

aik! mana la saya tau baby nak terkeluar malam ni. cadangnya esok hari baru nak jumpa specialist. doktor tu pulak bila dapat tau saya baru jek lepas makan, mula la pot pet pot pet. bila check tekanan darah, tinggi la pulak. selama ni ok jek. bila tengok muka doktor yang stress tu saya bertambah-tambah la stress. dengan sakit yang tak dapat ditahan-tahan lagi. saya diberi dua pilihan - bersalin normal atau operation (tentu la saya pilih normal. saya takut nak kena bedah) tapi...mengikut penerangan doktor tu bersalin normal ada masalah, operation pun ada masalah. hmmm lagi la saya stress.

akhirnya saya decide untuk ceaser.

tapi kerana tekanan darah yang tinggi dan tak turun-turun telah melambatkan proses. sakit yang datang pulak makin tak tertahan rasanya. masa tu teringat pada kata-kata emak saya...'sakit nak bersalin ni rasa macam nak putus nyawa'...masa tu juga saya terasa ada betulnya.

setiap kali sakit datang saya rasa macam ada yang nak terkeluar. tapi saya terpaksa tahan daripada meneran sebab keadaan baby yang songsang. Ya Allah...memang dugaan. macam-macam doa saya baca...masa tu saya rasa palang besi katil yang saya genggam pun tak dapat membantu. begitu juga tangan suami yang saya genggam juga tak dapat membantu..walau pun begitu, kehadiran suami saya serba sedikit melegakan hati saya (",) thank you abang....

akhirnya selepas 5 jam menahan kesakitan, saya di bawa ke bilik bedah. dan pada pukul 1.47 pagi anak saya selamat dilahirkan....saya dan suami namakan dia ferra nayli.

minggu ke-36

2011-12-10T00:37:00.001+08:00

minngu ni genap minggu ke-36 kandungan saya. wah...semakin cepatnya masa berlalu. tak sedar cuma tinggal 4 minggu lagi...dan saya akan bergelar mummy... :-)

waktu ni perut saya dah pun semakin membesar dan semakin berat (of course)...kadang-kadang rasa macam nak terbobos pun ada..hehehe...baby pun asyik mengeras dan perut sakit tak mengira masa. sakitnya macam kena bad period pain. waktu tidur saya pun dah semakin kurang kerana bila rasa sakit saya akan terjaga dari tidur dan rasa nak ke toilet semakin menjadi-jadi. bukan itu aje, bila baby dah semakin besar ni semakin susah pula nak bernafas. tapi takpe...kerana baby, mummy sanggup tahan sampai baby keluar.

waktu ni juga saya sudah berada di kampung. duduk berehat-rehat di rumah emak saya. memandangkan hubby saya yang tak habis-habis dengan pasukan hokinya. kadang-kadang geram juga saya dengan dia. rasa macam hoki tu lebih penting dari saya yang sedang sarat ni :-( tapi...nak buat macam mana? dah memang itu yang dia suka.

kalau sudah jodoh....

2011-12-09T13:15:00.001+08:00

salah seorang teman rapat menghubungi saya dan mengadu saudaranya nak memperkenalkan dia dengan seseorang..al-maklum lah teman saya ni yang masih belum berkahwin lagi memang selalu menjadi hot issue di kalangan keluarga.

pada saya tidak ada salahnya...cuma berkenalan. tapi....bila diberitahu yang 'seseorang' itu lembut orangnya, pandai mengemas rumah, pandai memasak, pandai menggubah dan segala-galanya kerja-kerja wanita dia pandai buat...saya pun jadi terfikir begini..."oops!". tambahan lagi teman saya mengadu yang dia tidak pernah kenal langsung dengan 'seseorang' ini membuatkan dia berat hati. katanya lagi..."tak mau la sebab takde boyfriend lagi jadi kena terima aje sape-sape yang datang. nak jugak jadi macam susu (panggilan yg diguna utk saya)..." sekali lagi saya terfikir..."oops!, jadi macam saya?"

tiba-tiba teringat kisah saya dan suami. ada orang kata kisah cinta saya macam dalam novel cinta. :-)) hahaha...kadang-kadang gelihati mendengarnya. tapi pada saya itu semua kuasa Yang Maha Esa. memang sudah jodoh saya. dari benci menjadi suka...kenal tapi tak tau siapa orangnya...dari main-main menjadi serius pulak...ada air mata dan konflik....tapi...akhirnya kahwin juga.... ^______^

tapi...walau apa pun saya faham bila dia kata dia mahu jadi seperti saya. saya berkenalan dan mengenali hubby saya dengan sendirinya tanpa dikenalkan oleh orang tengah. bukan dipaksa atau diaturkan oleh orang lain. saya pula memang bukan jenis yang suka diatur-aturkan oleh orang. bukan tak ada yang cuba-cuba kenalkan. dengan si dia ni la, dengan si dia tu la...tapi...saya memang menentang kegiatan paduk memaduk ni! ....i like love to come naturally. pernah juga saya dimarahi oleh emak saya kerana menolak aturan jodoh yang dibuat dengan dua pupu saya. teruk la juga saya kena waktu tu - sampaikan saya drive kereta balik ke muar sambil menangis-nangis. hehehe how silly i was. tapi saya tak kisah! biar kena marah, biar makcik-makcik sedara semua masam muka dan muncung dengan tindakan saya. saya memang tak mahu kena paksa!

seingat saya, saya berjumpa dengan hubby saya selepas saya mengahantar doa dengan aunty zizah yang buat umrah di mekah. percaya atau tidak dia datang tak lama selepas saya mengirim doa itu. itu membuatkan saya berasa memang dia orangnya (walaupun tidak sesempurna yang diangankan). itu membuatkan saya berani membuka pintu dan membawa dia masuk ke dunia saya. dan paling penting bukan aturan orang lain.

oops! berbalik kepada cerita kawan saya tadi...saya rasa saya tidak ada kuasa untuk menentukan dia harus terima atau tidak. ikut kata hati. usia yang semakin meningkat dan masih sendiri memang merisaukan. tapi...tak boleh la nak main sapu aje. kerana pada saya, orang yang pandai paduk memaduk ni memang suka bila kita terima orang yang dicalonkan dan berkahwin. tapi...peranannya hanya setakat itu. apa-apa perkara yang terjadi kepada kita selepas berkahwin tu mereka tak akan bertanggungjawab dan ambil pusing pun. kalau lelaki yang dikenalkan tu memang bagus, baik, elok - ok la. tapi kalau sebaliknya? jadi teman saya itu bersabar ye....kalau tak nak kata saja tak nak. kalau sudah jodoh....pasti akan berjumpa...

menu malam hari

2011-10-28T11:59:00.001+08:00

waktu-waktu mengandung ni saya macam ter-rajin la pulak masuk ke dapur dan memasak....saya rasa anak saya ni mesti suka memasak atau mesti dia suka makan ^____^ hehehe....

semalam menu untuk dinner ialah daging masak black pepper dan kacang buncis goreng. for the first time try resepi black pepper ni, rasanya ala-ala ok laa....tapi kacang buncis pulak yang terlebih masin...huhu...mulanya rasa macam tawar, saya tambahlah garam, tapi lain pulak jadinya....jadi inilah hasilnya.....

minggu ke-29

2011-10-24T13:47:00.000+08:00

hari ni rasa macam kurang sihat...macam tak sedap badan. saya perasan kalau saya berjalan jauh atau aktif sangat, saya akan jadi macam ni. tadi macam ada bleeding, tapi bila check sekali lagi....macam takde la pulak..hehehe

by the way, set bersalin yang saya tempah dengan kak engku bidan da selamat saya terima. terima kasih akak!

saya juga da beli maternity pillow tapi tak sama macam yang nak beli online tu sebab tak boleh nak support bahagian perut sangat. mungkin sebab pillow tu kecil kot.

minggu ke-28

2011-10-17T14:22:00.000+08:00

wah...cepatnya masa berjalan. pejam celik pejam celik, dah masuk minggu ke-28 saya mengandung..dah masuk ke trimester ke-3. pada waktu ni banyak perubahan yang berlaku. perut pun dah semakin membukit ^__^. kadang-kadang kan, bila baring, bila raba-raba perut, akan dapat rasa bentuk curve...atau kadang-kadang bole nampak baby menendang. bila waktu tu rasa sangat seronok. tapi...yang tak bestnya bila nak tidur memang la sangat tak selesa. bila perut dah besar ni susah nak cari posisi tidur yang selesa. kadang-kadang tu bila perut tersalah 'parking' jek, aduh!....sakit la pulak. itu belum sakit-sakit belakang dan susah nak tidur malam. kadang-kadang tak sedar pukul berapa baru dapat tidur.

selain daripada tu, sejak-sejak akhir ni emosi pun tak berapa nak elok. saya jadi mudah marah dan over-sensitive. apatah lagi when things not go my way. that is something i could not explain. jadi siapa-siapa yang terkena tantrum saya tu minta maap la yek..especially kucing-kucing saya yang dua ekor tu ^__^ salah jek, memang la kena. bukannya apa, kadang-kadang dalam keadaan yang macam ni, saya rasa sangat penat dan tak larat. nak mengemas rumah pun kadang-kadang saya rasa sukar. bila terlalu banyak membongkok atau menunduk, perut akan terasa sakit. kadang-kadang tu....how i wish my husband would understand that and help me to do the house chores. and how i wish my little cats wouldn't do any mess. tapi....itu la, how i wish.

busy mummy

2011-09-27T12:24:00.001+08:00

i feel better today =)

i think baby is okay too.we can eat a lot and walk a lot and do work a lot. hehehe

i think...i am tired. my schedule was packed on weekend. i didn't have time to rest. it was a school day on saturday. went shopping, open houses some more, laundry, and saving rabbit! (unfortunately the rabbit died).

tudung lilit-lilit

2011-09-21T13:10:00.003+08:00

after class one of my students came..

nayli   : t-cer, mimi would like to ask you something.
me     : ok. question me.
nayli   : mim! come faster (she's calling her friend)
mimi   : t-cer, how you put on your scarf? it looks cool. kitorang buat tak jadi pon.
me      : ?????? macam orang lain buat la. macam ni.... (showing them)
nayli    : susahnye...why not you make a tutorial class t-cer.
me      : o..ok, bring your scarf and we'll do the grooming class.

the students were grinning. then came another girl.

nadia   : t-cer, what is it?
me:      : oo...they asked me to do a grooming class.
nadia   : t-ceeeeer....make it for the whole class!
me      : ???????? o-ok...

kedondong idaman

2011-07-18T11:23:00.000+08:00

sebenarnya tak ada la mengidam sangat nak makan buah kedondong tapi oleh kerana si tarmizi tu asyik usik-usik lama-lama teringin la jugak...apatah lagi teringat sedap di makan masam-masam campur kicap campur gula...hmmm sedapnya...tapi, tarmizi tu tunggu-tunggu tak ada pun dia bawak buah kedondong yang dijanji-janjikan...akhirnya, cuba teka siapa yang bagi buah kedondong untuk saya?....si pembawa kedondong ialah - ustaz ishak. terima kasih ustaz....

i still here

2011-07-05T11:19:00.000+08:00

wah...lamanya saya tak menulis. rasa-rasanya dah 2-3 bulan agaknya. bukannya apa, tak ada kesempatan nak menulis. kerja sekolah yang semakin bertambah membuatkan saya selalu 'black out' bila sampai rumah =). tapi apa-apa pun i still here. ada perkara yang berlaku beberapa bulan ni.

satu - saya dah adopted another kitten. sekarang da besar dan gemuk pun. dah 7 bulan umur dia. nama dia kenit =). nanti bila ada kesempatan i put his photos here ye. dia sekarang dah jadi best friend abang bulat. hmm sangat nakal. suka kacau abang bulat. ada satu masa tu saya nampak abang bulat tak tahan dikacau, abang bulat menyorok dalam bakul baju. tapi alahai si kenit ni, dia cucuk-cucuk pula abang bulat dengan kaki dia dekat lubang-lubang yang ada kat bakul baju tu =)

dua - i'm expecting. now, it's been three months. my baby bump pun dah nampak. seronok....mula-mula ok aje. but now, dah masuk trimester kedua ni dah mula pening-pening dan nak uek-uek la pulak. hai...nasib badan. rasa macam tak laratnya nak go through another 6 months ni. tidur malam pun dah susah. kadang-kadang pukul 2-3 pagi baru dapat lelapkan mata. kadang-kadang nangis juga dibuatnya. hehehe....bukan apa bila rasa sakit tapi tak boleh nak ambil any medication, mulalah tak tahan...tapi, i always remind myself that it comes with the price.

alhamdulillah

2011-04-06T11:06:00.000+08:00

Thank to Allah. What should be done, had been done. English drama competition had ended and all efforts were paid off when my school was announced as the second runner up in the competition and we were awarded the best setting and props from all 14 schools that took part. Even though we didn't manage to represent the southern zone to the national level, because only the champion is chosen but Hafiz and I have proved that we are not the losing team. We didn't come back with bare hands. With all the bad complaints and obstacles and without support from only we know who...alhamdulillah...

selamat pengantin baru sarah

2011-03-13T22:09:00.001+08:00

sebenarnya banyak entry blog saya yang tergendala gara-gara ketidaksempatan saya untuk online..salah satunya entry yang ini. saya dan kak hida sekali lagi berkolaborasi membuat coklat untuk hantaran. kali ni cik puan sarah, anak saudara kak hida sendiri. kalau yana dulu temanya purple, kali ni temanya putih pula. cumanya bukanlah coklatnya yang berwarna putih, tapi kami buatkan bakul bunganya bertemakan bunga ros dan reben putih.

happy belated birthday abang

2011-03-02T13:36:00.000+08:00

last monday was pumpkin's birthday. i have ordered cupcakes for him. initially, i wanted to pass the cake before he went to JB last saturday. unfortunately, kak ct (who i ordered from) couldn't make it before saturday. she got the family matter. she could only make it after sunday. so, tadaa...these are the cakes. i asked kak ct to do the decoration on the cake based on the sports theme. not bad. beautiful. it just that kak ct forgot to include hockey theme in it. she just made the badminton and football theme. tapi, takpe la. ok juga....

the snake in the grass

2011-02-28T11:01:00.001+08:00

after quite some time, i've still been thinking about what had happened in the english panel. the problems and the conflicts that occured. not only that happened recently but years before..the misunderstanding and all that. and i believe my theory is true. the one that i thought is a loyal and close friend actually at the same time has made people in the panel for sometimes to go against each other. i must say that i began to realise all the sensational and fancy flash is usually come from her. she will trigger the thing and make it as if it is a really big problem and it needs to be fixed immediately and make everybody to have a kind of uncomfortable feeling and unhealthy thought towards the 'subject' that she focus on. for me, she is like a snake in the grass. pretending good but actually will bite when we are not aware. when we trusted her. she likes to be the no. 1. she likes to be seen as someone important. i know she will do something secretly behind everybody's back. i know when i'm doing something, she pretends like she doesn't look at it. i know she is peeping because she could tell what i was doing.

*i'm sleepy. to be continued*

selamat pengantin baru yana

2011-02-25T11:55:00.002+08:00

salah seorang kawan sekerja saya akan mengharungi hari bahagia pada hari sabtu ni..dan dia asyik mengingatkan saya agar datang ke majlis kahwinnya. dia sangat excited kerana wedding theme-nya sama seperti ketika majlis perkahwinan saya. iaitu warna purple.

itulah, siapa yang saya nak bawa sebagai teman ye?

tapi rasanya saya terpaksa pergi seorang diri sebab kawan-kawan rapat yang lain balik ke kampung. hari cuti kan...tapi tak apalah.

dan...untuk yana, saya dengan kak hida telah bekerjasama membuat coklat gift untuk yana.

tadaa...siap ribbon

ini layer no.1 box pertama

layer no.2 box pertama

ini layer no.1 box kedua

layer no.2 box kedua

kat dalam coklat tu ada macam-macam filling. ada coklat cip, kacang, kismis, jem blueberry and oreo. harap-harap yana akan sukakannya. dan semoga majlisnya pada esok hari akan berjalan dengan lancar. selamat pengantin baru yana....

*****

macaron for valentine's

2011-02-17T00:05:00.001+08:00

I think he doesn't like the macaron that i gave (not actually give, i put on the table because he was sleeping when i entered the house and we were in the silent mode recently). Until last night it was still there, untouched and not open. I suppose i understand that. So, from now on i would not give him any gift on valentine's day. And..i already thrown that macaron in the dustbin. It's quite a waste but it's okay. It's my fault too. i didn't tell him straightly. so he didn't know that i ordered that macaron specially for him. But, if he knew, deep in my heart, i
miss him so much. Not because he is not around. But, with the thing that i go through now, i feel if he could lend me his shoulder and could give me one big hug, it would soothe me and calm me. But, i understand, he is busy with his work Training, practice, practice, training, badminton, field. Therefore i know i will not be his centre of attraction now.

the other side of me

2011-02-10T14:12:00.000+08:00

i feel tired...it seems like 3/4 of my energy has gone...this is why i don't like to boil up. but...the children are very good. they have succeeded to make me flare up.

i give up..yes, i give up to be nice to them. i don't want to be nice to them anymore. because, when i'm being nice to them i get nothing in return. they take things for granted. they stepped me. so, i decided to turn into violent. i decided to start a war.

and yes...i succeeded. i have started the war and turned into violent...starting today..

that's what happened today. i punished them. i scolded them. i have made them suffer.

but, one good thing about it is...i made them work. i made them to complete my work on time. i made them to focus on me. only me. no excuses anymore. because, i let them know i don't want to hear any excuses. they make mistake, they will get from me!

am i bad?

well...i just don't care anymore. this is how i should teach them. long time ago.

for now, for me, it doesn't matter if they hate me, if they don't like me...what matter is, they scare of me.

abang bulat sudah pulang =)

2011-02-09T12:34:00.000+08:00

akhirnya....abang bulat pulang ke rumah setelah hampir dua hari keluar bermain-main..

tapi...abang bulat balik dengan keadaan yang comot..mana abang bulat telah pergi ye?

abang bulat juga balik dalam keadaan yang lapar...habis dua peket makanan dia bedal.

dan...kemudian, abang bulat pun tidur...

pengurus baru ManU!

2011-02-01T21:24:00.002+08:00

saya bukan la peminat besar bola sepak..malah, tak minat pun. walaupun, pernah la juga tengok world cup (itu pun kerana pemain-pemainnya yang handsome..hahaha..) ..saya pernah kata pada honey pumpkin - "buat apa tengok bola? bola sebijik kejar ramai-ramai..." masa tu saya agak, pastilah dia geram dengan kenyataan saya sebab lepas tu dia membidas kata-kata saya (yang mana saya sudah tidak ingat apa dia.)

...tapi sejak akhir-akhir ni, saya yang tak berapa nak minat bola telah mula terjebak..bila saya diarahkan untuk mengunci jam dan kejutkan honey pumpkin sebelum perlawanan. pada mulanya sekadar kejut. tapi bila dah terjaga dek deringan loceng jam handphone, kadang-kadang susah pula nak tidur semula. especially bila perlawanannya mencecah ke pukul pagi. jadi...akhirnya, kadang kala, dengan saya saya sekali tertengok perlawanan bola yang ada. yang mana akhirnya saya pun dah boleh hafal nama pemain-pemain yang ada dan kenal kelab mana lawan dengan kelab mana.

saya selalu ejek honey pumpkin - kata dia ialah pengurus baru Man United, sebab sanggup bangun pagi-pagi dan sanggup tunggu match sampai tak tidur-tidur.

tapi....kadang-kadang saya terfikir juga...kalau dia yang sanggup bangun pagi-pagi ialah "pengurus baru ManU", maka...saya yang kerjanya ialah kunci jam dan kejutkan dia, apa pula jawatan saya??

before i take a break

2011-01-28T12:39:00.000+08:00

today is the last day before Chinese New Year break....yahoooo....bole sambung bermalas-malas di rumah lagi..hehe...
i'm going to send bulat to vet - kasi sunat!
i would like to wish wen wen, my sexy beb...a happy wonderful chinese new year. may this year will bring you all the good things and prosperous. i know you are counting days and traumatising to go back penang..but, that's life!

always

2011-01-24T09:32:00.002+08:00

sometimes words that we utter can encourage people to do something more better than usual but somehow i realised that it can also hurt someone's feelings when it's been delivered sarcastically.

and always when it happens to me i would feel upset and usually apologise would always be the remedy to melt my heart and forget the things away.

but, always...people don't do that because they don't realise they have actually 'touched' my feelings.

and always, because i would always keep the things to myself only.

let me do as what i wish to

2011-01-14T12:06:00.000+08:00

for now, i don't like this one person who is jerk and big mouth...for now, i don't like this particular person who has made me UPSET and being rude to me by asking and saying RUDE, in a rude way..for now.

at one point, i think i don't have to give a damn to this one person...but when this person who has saying things that i hate to hear from his mouth until it ruins my day over and over and over again! so, i decided not to like this particular person. if this person does not know what is really going on, do not give any comment that is not related and constructive at all. i don't need his stupid comment because he is not welcomed to do so...

cameron highland

2011-01-04T10:29:00.002+08:00

because of i was tied up with invigilating, so i thought i would just stay at home during the school holiday before the new school session is started..but so suddenly the idea came up and we (my hubby's family and i) have the unplanned vacation to cameron. we went there for 2 days and 1 night only.

but...i like the air of the place and the view is beautiful.

we started the journey early in the morning...

in the middle of journey we stopped a while to have our breakfast

in front of the hotel

first day - went up to the strawberry park and picked the strawberry

second day - we went to the cactus shop

stopped at the tea valley ....

...and had a cup of tea before we went back home.

dream

2010-11-25T14:36:00.000+08:00

mungkin kerana terlalu banyak berfikir..jadi telah bermimpi yang bukan-bukan..silly

soup of pasta and beans and lolipop chocolate

2010-11-22T09:31:00.001+08:00

like what i had promised..this is soup of pasta and beans..this's grandma's recipe..nice but needs to improvise so that it would suit the malays..

and...this is the chocolate that i made..

and the lolipop chocolate...i just tried, surprisingly it worked!

make my day

2010-11-20T14:06:00.000+08:00

1.42 p.m. on saturday - i still in school. there are many things to be done before i go for invigilating...yes. i hope i manage to get it done on time.

tired? yes. and plus, so suddenly since two days ago there were scripts on my table..i guess the students begin to panic and realised that they are not prepared enough. well, i help whatever i can do at the moment. it's too late. they come to me at the very last minute..and..i don't have magic! i cannot simply spell my charm to make it ok? it just not me!

they really make me wire-haired.

but, don't mind. i got something to do to make my day...hehehe *_____*

"soup of pasta ad beans" and "lolipop chocolate with edible sticker"

see..if i manage to make them tonight.

bulat - 2 months

2010-11-16T10:46:00.000+08:00

i came across to this video. bulat was 2 months. so sweet. i realised that he is lovely since he was child. you see...

bulat is not feeling well

2010-11-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

bulat was brought to the clinic. he is not feeling well. his behind left leg was injured..how? he sneaked out from house yesterday and was 'ambushed' by the black cat. poor bulat. now, he just sleep and doesn't have mood to do anything. he even cannot walk properly.

after bathed.

he was very smelly and covered with shit

fried rice

2010-11-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

it was raining quite heavy..so, me and ctcat decided to cook at home. see...what we have done. tada...

sweet potato

2010-11-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

another reason to go to jj is...i'm craving for sweet potato... *__* ummi bought for me

so, how about you?

2010-11-13T19:26:00.000+08:00

i am now at home. i changed my mind. i changed my plan to follow ctcat to jj. though at the beginning i thought i need to go out to get some air. but, i could not stand it. it's very painful due to the menstruation. my back is in pain too. so, i just slept after school. besides, being alone at home is a little bit boring. there are only me and bulat. well...i look at him, he looks at me. when i look at him once again...he already fall asleep.

and...i don't understand what is going on. i realised i should not complain. but, i cannot help myself. i am being sensitive. i feel like i am being ignored recently. i feel, i am being abandoned. feels like i am receiving a punishment for doing wrong but do not know how to undo it. i just feel. i am surrounded by people and engulf with their cares. but it feels like something is missing. pretending happy and smile and laugh. but actually at the other side it just not so.

so, how about you?

playful bulat

2010-11-13T10:46:00.000+08:00

one thing i noticed in bulat after coming back from ctcat's place is he likes to play. even though he still being lazy but he quite playful recently.

things happen beyond reason

2010-11-13T00:41:00.000+08:00

i used to think that every thing that happens on this earth has a reason behind it. but, i changed my mind. there are things in this world that actually don't have a reason or sometimes do not need a single reason to happen. it just needs the God's Will.

pegawai kucing sudah datang...

2010-11-12T12:13:00.001+08:00

i went to the hostel yesterday to take my belongings which still being left there..and as i went out from the house i saw stoking was running towards me and meow-ing at me..felt happy to see her.

but, unfortunately i had nothing to give her eat. poor her.

next, i saw a kitten on the stairs. stopped to see the little midget. so cute. at the same time i heard meow-ing from the upstairs..when i looked up i saw her...the black-orange cat..the one that i used to feed when i stayed in the residential. she doesn't have big tummy anymore. i see..she had given birth. when i left the residential several months ago she was pregnant. and..i realised the little midget i found is hers.

she came and laid down next to my feet. i was touched. she still remember me.

this is her...she's not that pretty

however, i found out there was not only one kitten but three. see...

after that i went to the next block and found stoking was playing with her children...

just now i went there again...to see them. but, they were not there. huhu...didn't know where they have gone.

いろいろねこ。 maru the cat

2010-11-08T12:56:00.001+08:00

i found this video of maru...he is so sweet..feel like to hug him

i'm wondering

2010-11-04T18:14:00.000+08:00

it is five minutes to six. time is running too slow. staying at home sometimes makes me feel bored. kept turning the tv remote and none of the tv programme was interesting. but...isn't it weird? when we are busy working none-stop like crazy, we are insisting to have a break. feels like we don't want to work anymore and stay at home for the rest of our lives... ^_____^ but...at one point, when we are already in the holiday, we are so eager to get back to work! this is what we called - ridiculous.

lately, i keep thinking about one thing. i don't know if it is only me who feel and think about it. i wonder if the other party is thinking about the same thing too.

i don't know if it was me who started all of it.

i

For the Rest of My Life

2010-10-30T10:06:00.001+08:00

the little rascal

2010-10-29T10:14:00.000+08:00

besides, he is fat and lazy, his annoying, couldn't care less and naughty attitude sometimes makes him sweet. one of them is he likes to disturb me whenever he saw me reading newspaper. he will purposely come and sit or lay down on the newspaper..and he even sometimes sleep on it!

see...how am i going to read like this.

kekanda adinda

2010-10-29T09:39:00.001+08:00

recently i love to listen to this song...so sweet.

Oh Kekanda jangan irihati, Dinda naik pangkat lagi..

Oh Adinda, Kanda mana dengki, malah Kanda support bini..

Jadi Dinda mahu mengambil masa

Tapi Kanda mahu segera,

Dinda ingin berjaya dalam kerjaya,

Tapi Kanda mahu cahaya mata,

Dinda belum bersedia,

Kanda dah beria ria,

Jadi yg mana satu?

Tak perlu bertengkar,

Tak perlu bermasam muka,

Oh Adinda, tolong jangan lekas curiga, lekas cemburu buta

Oh Kekanda, Dinda perlu berhati hati ,tak rela dikongsi,

Kanda kerja overtime, terlebih masa,

Itu yg Dinda harus berwaspada,

Ini semua demi masa depan keluarga,

Dengan Dinda atau sebaliknya?

Kanda kerja malam,

Dinda kerja siang,

Jadi bila nak bertemu?

Tak perlu bertengkar,

Tak perlu bermasam muka,

Oh adiwira, dewataku, mari ikut cara Dinda!

Oh Tun Teja, intan permata, mari ikut cara Kanda!

Bagaimana? bagaimana kita nak selesaikannya?

Apa keputusannya?

Oh Kekanda mari Nyawa, kita cuba komunikasi!

Oh Adinda mari Sayang, kita cuba toleransi!

Walau kita janji sehidup semati, kita berlainan,

Kanda polar kutub Utara,

Dinda kutub Selatan

Komunikasi, sikap toleransi! itu yg kita perlu,

Tak perlu bertengkar,

Tak perlu bermasam muka,

Walau kita sering dgn cara masing2,

Kanda yg Perdana,

Dinda yg Utama,

Kanda sgalaNya..

Dindalah Nyawa,

Kita tetap bahagia bila bersama sama
Bahagia bersama,
Bersama selamanya,
Bahagia selama- lamanya!

***

end of year

2010-10-25T14:14:00.000+08:00

coming to an end of year makes the timetable quite tight and busy...and makes everybody quite tensed. coming to an end of year also means there are many oncoming night events, multiple tasks and everything should be done on time! ...making everybody in the English department becomes wacky and psycho! this is real true! and we usually will come out with stupid and crazy jokes (that usually only us know what it means) to release the tense and make us laugh for awhile to forget our suffer and 'illness'..and the temperature of the air-condition at our area which usually can make you cold to death will turn out to boil you up..this is what really happen here..we are not grinning anymore...

bulat and the pet bed

2010-10-22T10:00:00.000+08:00

finally i got a pet bed for bulat but unfortunately the size doesn't fit him...so, he doesn't want to sleep on that bed, even he was forced to retire on it he still doesn't want to!

haze attack

2010-10-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

due to the attack of worst haze in muar made the schools in the district decided to close temporarily...except my school..huhu...but, one good thing is the journey to school this morning was very smooth..rasa macam naik kereta batman..laju jek! ^___^

mereka sudah berubah

2010-10-13T13:05:00.000+08:00

sejak berkahwin cikgu murni amatlah jarang pergi ke asrama...

alasan:
(1) cikgu murni dah tak duduk di asrama lagi

jadi....
bila cikgu murni ditugaskan memeriksa dorm di asrama cikgu murni gembira...cikgu murni boleh melawat anak-anak cikgu murni...

mereka masih ingat cikgu murni...tapi...

mereka sudah berubah!

si oren sudah pregnant lagi

dan...sudah beranak pula..tapi tidak tahu di mana dia sorokkan anak-anak yang baru dilahirkan tu

stokin juga sudah beranak sekali lagi

anak-anak stokin, cikgu murni jumpa di dalam almari lama di bilik rehat asrama

walau bagaimanapun, ada seekor lagi yang tidak dijumpai...

dan....

yang ini tetap menjadi gangster di asrama...heeee

***

bulat and the magical vacuum

2010-08-29T06:25:00.000+08:00

sakit hati, tulang sendiri?

2010-08-26T09:26:00.001+08:00

Sakit Hati, Tulang Sendiri ?
www.iluvislam.com
Di Forwad kan Oleh: Edwardsiella
Editor: Afdhal87

WANITA: Siapa yang paling kamu cintai di dunia ini?
LELAKI: Kamu!!!
WANITA: Menurut kamu, saya ini siapa?
LELAKI: (Berfikir sejenak, lalu menatap WANITA dengan pasti) Kamu, tulang rusukku!

Kerana Allah melihat bahawa Adam kesepian. Saat Adam sedang lena tidur, Allah mengambil rusuk Adam dan menciptakan Hawa.Semua LELAKI mencari tulang rusuknya yang hilang dan saat menemukan wanita untuknya, tidak lagi merasakan sakit di hatinya.

Setelah berkahwin, pasangan itu mengalami masa yang indah dan manis untuk sementara. Setelah itu, pasangan muda ini mulai tenggelam dalam kes ibubapa dan masing-masing dan kelelahan hidup yang ada. Hidup mereka menjadi membosankan. Kenyataan hidup yang kejam membuat mereka mulai menyisihkan impian dan cinta satu sama lain. Mereka mulai bertengkar dan pertengkaran itu mulai menjadi semakin panas.

Pada suatu hari pada akhir sebuah pertengkaran.WANITA lari keluar rumah. Saat tiba di seberang jalan, dia berteriak "Kamu tidak cintakan saya lagi!!!". LELAKI sangat membenci ketidakdewasaan WANITA dan secara spontan juga berteriak "Saya menyesali perkahwinan ini! Kamu ternyata bukan tulang rusukku!!!"

Tiba-tiba WANITA terdiam, dan berdiri kaku untuk beberapa saat.LELAKI menyesali akan apa yang sudah dia lafazkan, tetapi seperti air yang telah tertumpah tidak mungkin untuk diceduk kembali. Dengan berlinang air mata, WANITA kembali ke rumah dan mengambil barang-barangnya, bertekad untuk berpisah. "Kalau saya bukan tulang rusukmu, biarkan saya pergi Biarkan kita berpisah dan mencari pasangan sejati masing-masing" .

Lima tahun berlalu. LELAKI masih belum lagi berkahwin, tetapi berusaha mencari khabar akan kehidupan WANITA. WANITA pernah ke luar negeri tetapi sudah kembali. Dia pernah berkahwin dengan seorang asing dan bercerai. LELAKI agak kecewa bila mengetahui WANITA tidak menunggu, sepertinya. Dan di tengah malam yang sunyi, dia meminum kopinya dan merasakan sakit di hatinya. Tetapi LELAKI tidak sanggup mengakui bahawa dia merindukan WANITA.

Suatu hari, mereka akhirnya bertemu kembali. Di airport, tempat di mana banyak terjadi pertemuan dan perpisahan, mereka dipisahkan hanya oleh sebuah dinding pembatas.
LELAKI: Apa khabar?
WANITA: Baik... Kamu sudah menemui tulang rusukmu yang hilang?
LELAKI: Belum.
WANITA: Saya akan terbang ke New York dengan penerbangan berikut. Saya akan kembali 2 minggu lagi. Telefon saya kalau kamu berkesempatan. Kamu tahu nombor telepon saya kan ? Tidak ada yang berubah. WANITA tersenyum manis, berlalu di hujung lafaz
"Selamat tinggal.."

Satu minggu kemudian, LELAKI menerima khabar WANITA adalah salah seorang korban Menara WTC. Malam itu, sekali lagi, LELAKI meneguk kopinya dan kembali merasakan sakit dihatinya. Akhirnya dia sedar bahwa sakit itu adalah kerana WANITA, tulang rusuknya sendiri yang telah dengan bodohnya dia patahkan.....

Nota Kasih Sayang :

Kita menempiaskan 99% kemarahan walau kepada orang yang paling kita cintai. Dan akibatnya adalah penyesalan. Seringkali penyesalan itu datang di kemudiannya, akibatnya setelah kita menyedari kesalahan kita, semua sudah terlambat.Kerana itu, jagalah dan sayangilah orang yang dicintai dengan sepenuh hati.Sebelum mengucapkan sesuatu berfikirlah dahulu, apakah kata-kata yang kau ucapkan akan menyakiti orang yang dicintai? Kira merasakan akan menyakitinya, sebaiknya jangan pernah dilafazkan. Kerana semakin besar risiko untuk kehilangan orang yang dicintai.

Jadi berfikirlah, apakah kata-kata yang akan dilafazkan
sebanding
dengan akibat yang akan diterima?

Tak perlu mencari teman secantik BALQIS, Jika diri tak seindah SULAIMAN,
Mengapa mengharap teman setampan YUSUF, Jika kasih tak setulus ZULAIKHA,
Tak perlu diri menjadi seteguh IBRAHIM, Jika tak sekuat SARAH,
Mengapa didamba teman hidup seistimewa KHADIJAH, Jika diri tak sesempurna RASULULLAH

taken from:
iLuvislam.com | Discover the Beauty of Islam

bulat and box

2010-08-19T10:39:00.000+08:00

bulat and spider

2010-08-19T10:33:00.001+08:00

Lonely in Gorgeous

2010-08-17T12:07:00.000+08:00

i dream

2010-08-10T14:02:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of a black cat and a black snake again..but this time they come together and not separately like before. initially i didn't care about that because i thought i was thinking about tabby too much. but..according to ustaz ishak, it is the early sign of evil or black magic. i am not a supersticious..but according to ustaz ishak, the need to be careful and take precautions should be there.

english in-camp

2010-08-06T23:27:00.001+08:00

it is so exhausted after 3 hours plus of driving and activities at night slot. but, thank to Allah...i have arrived my destination safely this evening. the weather was scorching hot but suddenly in the middle of the journey it turned to rain cats and dogs. even i had turned the wiper to the highest speed, still i couldn't get the clearer view and the lorries on the road forced me to slow down. plus the unfamiliar route. i thought i was lost because it seemed that i had been through the endless road. i felt like i had driven for such a long time but there was no sign of KISAS. but i had to be calm so that all the children that i brought would be calm as well :-)

now, i am at the hotel (well...so-called "hotel" ^__^). i am actually at the senior assistant's place..need to wake up early tomorrow morning as i will be on duty as one of the facilitators..huhu

so...good night.

they have new mummy already ^___^

2010-08-05T08:58:00.001+08:00

finally, both of my kitten (oops! now not anymore) got their new mummy yesterday. well, they not only have one but three of them. thank you Allah for making it easy for me. and thank you sayang for helping me sending the kitten all the way to melaka to their new mummy.

i tried to strong myself and not to cry but the tears still fell down on my cheeks. even, if i closed my eyes..i still crying. as a matter of fact, yes, i love them very much. and for a moment, i felt reluctant to give them up to someone else. but, i know i cannot do that already. when i came back home and entered the room where i placed them all this while...the room is empty now. i realised i have really really gave them up. however, this is it.

so, thank you awin and friends for willing to adopt and take over my duty to take care of them. hopefully, they will be good...nah, i know they will be good under her safety wings. and i know awin is very happy to have those midget. and me too ^___^.

these are photos of the kitten sent by awin not long after i left them with her. they are so cute.

luxor addict!

2010-08-04T12:21:00.001+08:00

agak mengarut. tapi...cikgu murni dah addict main computer games semula. ini semua gara-gara men-download mumbo-jumbo luxor. walaupun sampai sakit-sakit badan dan sampai kebas jari-jari ni tapi tetap juga meneruskan 'perjuangan'...heeeee ^__^

kat sekolah cikgu murni tak buat kerja..cikgu murni asyik main mumbo-jumbo luxor...huhu

hati yang kau sakiti

2010-08-04T12:06:00.000+08:00

at this moment, i like this song very much.

jangan pernah katakan bahwa
cintamu hanyalah untukku
karna kini kau telah membaginya

maafkan jika memang kini
harus kutinggalkan dirimu
karna hatiku selalu kau lukai

tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan tanpamu
ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yang ku rasa

ku menangis membayangkan
betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku
kau duakan cinta ini
kau pergi bersamanya

ku menangis melepaskan
kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku
harus slalu kau tahu
aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti

cikgu murni oh cikgu murni

2010-08-03T13:04:00.001+08:00

lapar..

penatnya perasaan..

kepala pun jadi pening

hari ni ada 6 masa - jaga periksa

2 masa kelas, gap 1 masa rehat, 2 masa kelas, gap 1 masa rehat, 2 masa kelas lagi

by the time i reached the last class...exhausted!

i climbed the stairs to the top floor...

tiba-tiba....

eh! eh! salaaah...

wahai cikgu murni..kelas cikgu murni di dewan...huhu :-(

jadi...i went down the stairs

all the way to the hall.

kitten for adoption

2010-07-28T10:13:00.001+08:00

remember when i told about my lovely tabby who gone missing once she went out from home to play? at that moment she was just given birth to her children for 2 weeks.

initially there are 3 kitten. but, one has been adopted by someone who is willing to foster the child. so now, there are 2 kitten left with me. and at the moment me and my hubby feed them and take care of them.

they are only 1 month. they are so lovely, healthy and active. but, i don't have the guts to keep them as i afraid they will be ignorance by me due to the hectic timetable. i usually come home late in the afternoon and cannot feed them on time.

in addition, as i told earlier in my previously journal, they (the kitten) remind me of tabby, especially the black one. his eyes, his mouth, look the same. and i don't give them name yet as i do not want to tie myself up with them.

therefore, i need favour from people out there who is interested to adopt them.

the pillar don't cry

2010-07-23T12:29:00.000+08:00

i have made the pillar crying..because of me. i am sorry sexy. i didn't mean so. well, don't worry. it doesn't mean that world is going to end..or i'm going to die soon. and...i will not kill myself for that. it's the greatest sin lah!. but friends, you need to know that, as long as i can be there, i will always be there. until nothing is left, and i have to really really give up you guys, then i will slowly disappear and fade into the ground. ok? cheers.. ^__^

bila cikgu murni memasak

2010-07-16T12:21:00.000+08:00

walaupun cikgu murni tak pandai masak, tapi...

cikgu murni mencuba memasak lagi...

kali ni cikgu murni masak macaroni.

hehehe ^___^

this is my first trial. and...it ended up..failed!

fried macaroni turned up to salty macaroni..

cemasnya cikgu murni sampai berpeluh-peluh.

habis kecah satu dapur.

nasib baik ada abang pumpkin-ku yang tolong improvise-kan sang macaroni-ku.

akhirnya....

tada...!

macaroni goreng cikgu murni....

bila cikgu murni marah!

2010-07-14T12:48:00.000+08:00

i am boiling hot.

i scolded my kids of 4 gigih for not following my instruction, for not doing my work, for being lazy and couldn't care less and for everything that they did that made me...grrrr....

and it resulted them to keep quiet and never dare to say a word.

and it resulted me to go out from the class earlier than i should be.

words from mutiara hati

2010-07-07T10:14:00.001+08:00

i come across to this one site.her writing has got my attention. it is written:

“Janganlah pohonkan niat dan kepentinganmu kepada selain Allah. Sedangkan Allah Dzat Yang Maha Mulia tidak dapat dicapai hanya dengan angan-angan.”

i dreamt of her

2010-07-07T09:10:00.000+08:00

in the name of Allah, the most gracious and the most merciful.
God Almighty answers humble prayers.

i dreamt of her again last night. but, i do not really know whether she is okay or not. i started to feel worry. when i woke up from my sleep it was 1.50 in the morning and raining outside with lightning struck the sky. i remembered, she is afraid of lightning. always...she would find a place to hide when there was lightning.

i pray to God who has created her and brought her into this particular world to take care of her out there and i believe that God would always put her under His safety wings. amiin.

sayounara

2010-07-05T10:57:00.003+08:00

in the name of Allah, the most gracious and the most merciful.
God Almighty answers the humble prayers.

this is uncommon for me to start my journal with the above lines. however, i do not have any idea of where to start. but what could i say is, the day that i fear the most has come.

it has been 6 days my lovely tabby has gone from home. yes. i understand, i did not put any effort in finding her. i just look but i did not see. just hoping does not make any changes. yes, i do pray but it is not enough. i savvy.

by looking at her pictures would make me feel ache. so, i decided to keep all her photos in a place where i would forget (i had placed it in there) and could not reach (i even have removed her picture from my desktop.)

people always say that cats have nine lives. well, i do not believe in that as i do believe that cats are just like human beings who will live on this earth once.

therefore, i believe now she is either still out there or she had really gone from this very particular world.

i would give her children up by giving them to someone else to be taken care. i do not even give them names as i do not want to have any bond that will tie us up. i do not want to build any feelings towards them. i am afraid if i do so i will not want or i will not have the guts or i will reluctant to let them go as they will remind me to my little tabby.

i believe that she will not be coming home and i also believe it is time to say goodbye.

p/s i am not a drama queen but if she is coming home i would be very happy.

talk to your God and He would always listen

2010-07-05T10:02:00.000+08:00

talk to your God and He would always listen.

question 2

2010-07-01T12:41:00.003+08:00

am i special in my own way?

question

2010-07-01T10:33:00.002+08:00

would you like to have many friends but they hate you, or you rather be alone?

mommy tabby

2010-06-29T10:14:00.000+08:00

my lovely tabby had delivered her baby last 2 weeks (i supposed ^__^)..they grow bigger now. but, the problem is bulat is always come to see the babies. therefore, she feels threaten and disturb i guess.

this is daddy bulat

boohoo

2010-06-24T08:26:00.001+08:00

it is not too difficult to tell where am i about or what am i doing. but it is not even easy to do so. as a lone-ranger, nobody ever cares about me before and nobody ever asking what the heck am i doing. but suddenly there is someone who cares me so much and dying to know about almost anything. this is a big transition. i am not used to..yet. not that i refuse to tell to. however, the request is not really too much. it is true not too much. but knowing that, someone like me who is sensitive at heart, even it is not meant to..but the harsh word that reached me would always be considered as a mean to deliver anger. therefore, it would always end up in tears. :-) how silly i am. i remember when once i was scolded by my dad for doing wrong. i shouted and said that i wanted to leave and ran away from home. for some moment, our house was filled with silence. i was nowhere to be found - in home. he thought i was really gone. but, actually i was hiding alone at the back of the bedroom's door crying fretfully. :-) heee...like my sister always says about me..."ana ni degil, keras kepala, kuat menangis!"

thank god

2010-05-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

in the name of Allah the most gracious and the most merciful.

Alhamdulillah...my wedding ceremony had run smoothly even though there was a little misunderstood in the beginning.

the 'tok imam' had misunderstood. he thought that my wedding ceremony would be on 5th...heeeee

but, he came finally.

and...i can't share all my photos here because i don't have one right now. i will upload once i got it.

i hope that my marriage will be blissful until the end of time. amiin. ^___^

pengantin comot

2010-05-27T20:58:00.000+08:00

since my mom is warded until the second course of her chemoterapy, people who left at home are only me, my second sister, nieces and my brother-in-law to get things done for my wedding. my first sister will only home tomorrow morning. my younger brother will be home on saturday. we are the only people who manage everything here. i feel so tired and starving too. i just had my breakfast this morning and i didn't take any meal yet until now. huhu....we are so busy here. with multitask. and sweat and everything. and i think i am so comot now.

but, the good thing is my mom's condition is getting better ^___^ and the doctor allowed us to kidnap her to be here on my wedding day.

...and half of things have done here...

half of my 'bunga pahar'

goodie bags

pelamin

beautiful isn't it..

i hope all things will go smoothly on this coming saturday. and hopefully my mom will be here on my wedding day. amiin.

***

happy teacher's day

2010-05-20T11:36:00.000+08:00

in conjunctions of teacher's day, MAHER had organised a celebration for he teachers even though all students are still in examination. there were many events held. i participated in netball game. heeee =) between female teachers and form 5 assistant monitors. it was fun. we, the teachers, had won the game.

see...we were excited!

tired! after the first half

happy teacher's day!

***

at home

2010-05-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

after came back from KL and fetch my cats, i noticed they were hungry. poor them. they were only given meal twice a day. compare to at home, they can have it whenever they please. i also noticed bulat has loss weight. and...they have this one kind of weird behaviour. they do not want to go out from the house. even i have forced them but they still don't want to. i don't have any idea what they scare of. besides that, tabby now has another game to play. she likes to get any thing and hide it under my bed. yesterday i came back from school, all my pillow and comforter were under the bed. even, my clothes were found there. and for sure, i will be the one who cleans the mess and put those things to its place back. me? i'm losing my voice. i think it's because of the weather and tiredness. yes. i'm not feeling well. i have sore throat. cough. feels like i'm going to have fever.

boarding hostel

2010-05-07T23:02:00.000+08:00

going to KL. but, no one would take care of my tabby and bulat. so, i send them to boarding hostel. but then, it's really awkward here without them.

tuah is still alive!

2010-05-02T10:46:00.001+08:00

tuah has come back home early this morning. tuah is still alive!. heeeee ^____^ my mom is very happy.

the first thing that came across to my mind when i saw him was - the novel 'pet cemetry'. where the cat came to live after dead and became zombie. heeeee ^____^ (wild imagination).

but...tuah is real. i have checked!

we found out the dead cat was not tuah. but they looked alike. orange, big, male, and short tail. and our neighbour had mistaken that cat as tuah and had buried him. tuah...tuah...penat jek orang risaukan dia...

tuah

2010-05-01T22:41:00.001+08:00

this is tuah.

he was at the same age with bulat. i remember when i came back home one day, i saw tuah was in the house. my mom has adopted a kitten.

but....
tuah now is not with us anymore. we believe he was hit (probably) by a car last night.

so...last night was the last time we saw tuah before he went out jalan2 ambil angin. no wonder he didn't come home this morning. we waited. but he never showed up. even my mom had tried searching for him. until a neighbour told us this evening that he was dead. yes. for sure, my mom is feeling sad. me too. even though i just met him for several times only.

well, i don't believe cats have nine lives. so, hopefully tuah will be happy in the other world.

i'm back

2010-04-29T21:13:00.000+08:00

it's quite some time not writing my journal. my broady had been blocked due to late payment. heeee ^____^

now, i'm back.

da jumpa da bulat

2010-04-20T00:58:00.001+08:00

memang satu perkara normal. tabby dan bulat bermain-main dekat taman asrama. so, hari ini pun sama. sebelum pergi sekolah malam tadi cikgu biar budak dua ekor ni keluar. dari muka pintu boleh nampak tabby dan bulat main-main dalam gelap. so, biarlah.

tapi...tiba-tiba dengar bunyi bising kat luar. bila tengok....tabby dan bulat bergaduh dengan kucing hitam besar yang jahat itu! gosh...

i chased the big black cat away.

tabby cepat-cepat lari masuk sembunyi dalam rumah. tapi bulat...i didn't see bulat any where. bulat hilang! aduhai....macam mana ni?

cari punya cari punya cari....tak jumpa. mula la rasa bimbang. cikgu tengok jam. alamak! cikgu nak kena pergi sekolah ni. ada kerja nak buat.

so, cikgu tinggalkan bulat dan pergi sekolah. harap-harap dia akan balik dan tunggu depan pintu rumah.

dipendekkan cerita. bila balik dari sekolah, tak ada sesiapa pun. bulat tak ada tunggu depan pintu....jadi, cikgu cari bulat lagi. guna torch light suluh kat semak-semak dekat garden asrama. manalah tau kot-kot...

tiba-tiba...nampak macam sesuatu bergerak-gerak kat semak tu. cikgu pun suluh sekali lagi dengan torch light and perhati. ada sesuatu...macam kenal.

i shouted his name. dia yang teragak-agak pada mulanya....terus berlari-lari ke arah cikgu when i kept calling his name.

bayangkan bulat yang gemuk tu berlari-lari dengan perut dia yang buncit tu kepada cikgu. aduhai....gembiaranya.....da jumpa da bulat. heeeeeee....

why are you so mean?

2010-04-15T13:53:00.002+08:00

after the examination was over, it took me for almost a week to finish marking. yes, with the 24 periods a week, i don't have much time to get it done in school. by the time i reach home, it is too tired to do anything. but, the children kept asking about their papers. they were so eager to know their marks. don't they know that they have contributed to the burden?

ok, make it short. so, today i returned their exam papers and asking them to do correction for the questions that they answered wrongly in section A. and for section B, they need to do it all, even though they only got wrong for one question, suddenly, one boy asked me, "why are you so mean teacher?" why am i so mean? am i being mean? so, i answered, "because i'm not generous..". he looked at me and it was like "ha?!"

heeeee :-) ....i think sometimes we need to teach them a lesson. they are lazy and always take it for granted. yes, english is not like add math. english is not compulsory. but they need to bind up to mind that english is a necessary.

find her "true love"

2010-04-14T13:30:00.003+08:00

over slept and woke up late this morning. it supposed not to be happened. but i didn't hear my alarm clock. i didn't know what time i fell asleep last night. tabby was very noisy. but i couldn't let her out to find her "true love". and bulat was not helping at all.

questions:

is it because bulat is not yet matured?but he already 8-9 month-year-old.
is bulat a gay?
is it because bulat and tabby are like siblings, so it could not be happened because if it were to be happened it will be under the circumstance where we called incest?
is tabby has someone else outside?

mistake:
too busy with school work and forgot to take her to meet vet for neuter. now, all of us suffering the whole night.

on my birthday

2010-04-13T21:15:00.002+08:00

what makes special about today is....it's my birthday.

there are things happened...

one - the children drew the whole white board with 'happy birthday miss su' and sang a song for me. i didn't know how they know.

two - i received a bouquet of roses and a teddy bear from my honey pumpkin. surprise..i never thought of this. but i really like and appreciate it.

three - wewen thought it was tomorrow which is on 14th. and she and kak hida were planning a secret plan for me! and...she sang a birthday song in chinese version to me =)

four - kak hida mistaken today is twelve and she thought it supposedly tomorrow to wish me. and she said sorry for forgetting the date. nah...it is okay. i am big now. chewah! heeee....she gave hugs and kisses.

but, what makes today more special is...it's my nephew's birthday - hakimi. yes, both of us share the same date. but, so far we have not the opportunity to celebrate together yet.

i realise, many people love and take care about me. and i love them too.

i hope this year will be better, nicer, sweeter, greater than the last year.

tony roma's attack

2010-04-12T22:59:00.003+08:00

one of many things that kak hida wants to do with me is this...to have lunch in tony roma's. this is one of the places that she likes (i guess so...) because she has mentioned for 2975 times that she will take me to this place if we go to KL. because...according to her makanan kat sini sedap.

her wish has been granted..both of us and wewen went to Help university last saturday..sending our debaters for debate workshop.

i think we have a good time together that day...because..even though it was a heavy rain during the journey and we got lost. take turn with pak din to lead the way..we still couldn't find the road, even with the assistant of iphone GPS! we went round and round and round the place...took the wrong road again...screaming in the car when suddenly the GPS lost signal from the satellite and we actually could see the Help building from where we were...it was so near and yet so far and yet we didn't know where. but, in the end we arrived safely.

so...as the kids were in class, teachers went makan-makan....heeeee.....

this onion ring was introduced by kak hida...and we never thought it would be this big!

the jumbo drink....

and the paradise island burger...

we really have the good time...
eat the hearty meal, and
laugh at the crazy thing..
all because of tony roma's yang sedap tu.

kebaya cikgu murni

2010-04-08T11:33:00.001+08:00

i have 10 minutes before invigilating. so...kill the time.

sekarang ni bila tensen jek makan bila tensen jek makan bila tensen jek makan (makan makanan tak berkhasiat pulak tu).

pagi tadi dah bangun lambat. nak pergi sekolah. pakai baju kebaya...tiba2 tak bole nak zip pulak...huhuhu...tarik punya tarik punya tarik zip tu....tercabut pulak....laaa...aduhai. terpaksa la cikgu tukar lain baju - baju kebaya colour merah!

ntah la...persoalannya...adakah baju itu yang semakin mengecik atau cikgu murni dah semakin membesar?.

kami dipaksa bergambar

2010-04-07T22:04:00.002+08:00

do not worry

2010-04-06T00:36:00.005+08:00

i realise i have made some people worry about me. "sorry" well...i didn't mean to do so.

what could i say is "do not worry". things will be okay. i will make sure that things will go as planned. InsyaAllah.

well...i don't know how to put this. and i do not know what is really happening to me. months ago. i am so glad that i meet him again. that i think i will be very happy if i can live with him. so, i decided what i had decided. but suddenly. recently. i have the thought. suddenly, there are questions appeared on my mind. i did ask ctcat for the answer. but. hers are not convincing at all. how am i going to go through my life for 20, 30, 40 years with this person? what if, if suddenly i get bored? what if, i cannot adapt myself with him? what if? what if? and what if?

i believe i am afraid. to get married. to be someone's wife.

but then, i think i am not. it just that....we are two different people from two different world. it seems like he comes from another planet and i also come from another different planet. where...sometimes i could not understand what is he talking and he did not get what am i saying! in the end...i got angry.

he is like a shadow.

there are things that he does that will end up...me..feels angry. instead of saying something that will soothe my feeling, he says something that hurt. i hate when he ignored me. i hate when he didn't give any answer to my question. i hate when he didn't say what he wanted to say.i hate when...

but. i do love him. and because of this, i think, people do not have to be worried. even though we are very different from any other couple (like ctcat always says. we are not like two people who in love and soon getting married)..even though we don't have many things in common..but i believe that thing is going to be okay. do forget what i had said that day. i believe what i feel is only temporary. and the most important thing is...i believe with my heart...that i have made the right decision. and i believe i can get through all the difficulties. so people..do not worry. heeee.....

obsession

2010-04-04T21:42:00.003+08:00

my cat, 'bulat' likes playing with tabby's tail. and sometimes i think he is obsessed with it. i got the opportunity to record this video. thus, to show what they usually do at home.

my work

2010-04-04T16:29:00.000+08:00

what are we doing?

2010-04-03T12:26:00.004+08:00

i slept at 2 plus last night after the fire drill.

and.

woke up at 7.20 a.m. after the B.E.P had been shrieking for quite some times.

oops! my cats already woke up!

they go out. and take a walk.

i go breakfast

then. i buy flowers
but wait until my cats are sleeping.

yes!
they are sleeping.

put flowers on the table.

waaa.... :-) my house smells nice.

but.

oo oowh...

they smell something.

one got up!

the other one got up!

nooo!
they are going to eat my flowers...

huhuhu...

need to put them at the safer place.

my roses are now safe

****

kak ezah

2010-04-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

i supposed i understood how kak ezah feels right now. losing the loved ones is hurt.

yes. life is so unpredictable. hours ago he still alive and breathing before you. and suddenly the otherwise happened. so suddenly. gone.

i was 10 when my my dad left this world. involved in an awful and terrible accident when he was on duty. i still remember, he went back home on that afternoon. in a hurry packed up all his things. i was in the bedroom looking what he was doing. he then, hugged and kissed me and saying things. saying he was going out station and whispered.. "ta-ta". well...it's a normal thing to me. we always said that..to each other..every time he went out to work.

but. never thought it was the last time.

kak ezah needs to be strong physically and mentally. the most important thing is how she face the situation.

...

2010-03-26T12:21:00.000+08:00

i am not feeling well.
hoping that i could go home early.

HKSBPzs

2010-03-19T17:56:00.000+08:00

debate competition had ended. alhamdulillah. we embarked as the runner up and will represent southern zone in HKSBP in pasir puteh on this coming june. yes. it was really beautiful because we had killed our rival. and...i have returned all the children to wewen and kak hida to handle. so...they are no more mine ;-) i know they don't like it. but....i didn't help the children much during the competition except for the part of scolding and advising them. oo not to forget, contributing to the lose of the team when we against TKC (if not. there will be the perfect score) so, i hope they can make it in pasir puteh with wewen and kak hida along. sayangnya..i won't be there to watch them.

bye-bye

2010-03-06T23:34:00.001+08:00

feel tire..and lethargic...due to multi-task..plus hot weather make it greater.

tapi...ada orang kata...kalau kita rasa kita penat ada orang lain lagi yang LEBIH penat.
kalau kita rasa kita susah ada orang lain lagi yang LEBIH susah.

tapi...

the thing is...orang lain tak buat kerja sampai malam2.
orang lain tak bawa kerja balik rumah.

tapi....cikgu sabar.

next week HKSBP.

so...it's going to be hectic.
sebab, kalau ikut current plan, the debate competition akan berlangsung pagi, petang dan malam.
so...i guess, i don't have much time.
so...buat sementara waktu i am going to stop writing and blogging.
i'll continue after HKSBP.
so...bye.

it's not like normal

2010-03-03T01:29:00.000+08:00

i was actually trying to change my blog skin because i got bored with the current skin..by downloading the free ready made skin i found in the internet. but the thing is i don't really feel happy with the result. so, i have changed it back to the previous one. but, i don't know how, something is wrong with the content of the template. so, the layout appeared not like i used to have. huhu....padan muka aku....:-( siapa suruh gatal-gatal tukar..but, i don't have 'photoshop' and i am lacking of time at the moment. so, i cannot actually build my own blog template skin. so now, i stick to what i have. i think that's better :-)

it is 1.27 in the morning. i need to go.

oyasumi...good night...bye...

february 28

2010-02-28T23:29:00.002+08:00

today is my pumpkin's birthday. instead of cake, i have bought him something else. a very simple one. what could i say..i'm quite frustrated. my cupcakes order had been canceled at the last minute due to kak ellie's health problem. she had miscarriage. but anyway, he's not around - working out station. i miss him (actually). but, what to do. like people say..he is so near to me and yet so far. i wish him joy and happiness..and bless..always. otherwise, today is also a meaningful day to me. it is the 20th anniversary (if this is the word) of my father's death. he was taken forever. he passed away on this date - February 28. hmmm...i would call it coincidence. two different persons who are important to me sharing one particular same date but, with different thoughts.

dia ada

2010-02-23T19:50:00.002+08:00

after 2 days disappeared, suddenly she reappear in front of my house. thank God..she is okay. i absolutely very worried when she didn't come to my house and i didn't see her anywhere in the hostel. i am worried if she died drowning in the fish pond or if something bad had happened to her for the last night and the night before it was raining like cats and dogs.

i think i am worried for no reason. she can actually take care of herself. sometimes, i feel like i am a CAT OFFICER...in the hostel...searching, investigating, feeding the poor cat.

if i were a zillionaire...huh, tau la apa cikgu nak buat dengan kucing2 terbiar yang tak ada rumah ni.

negative+negative=positive

2010-02-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

after days have been through the suffering hot and dried weather, finally it's raining here. heeee... :-) it feels good. yelah, even staying at home pakai sexy2 pun still sweating bagai nak gila. at last....what i did at home was...sleeping. the best activity ever! heeee -))

talk about home, i think for a week holiday i got enough sleep and rest at home. so now, is time to get to work. no time bermalas-malasan lagi.

lagi pun, i have sent mr. ahmad bulat to my sister. heee....now...it just me and nurul tabby here. no one else can disturb. we can spend the quality time together.....tabby pun semakin lama semakin manja. hmmm tak tau kenapa. she needs more attention, i supposed. and she is getting better. dia dah boleh makan. perut dia pun dah ada buncit sedikit.

but then, sometimes i do miss bulat. ntah la...bila dia ada rasa geram. sebab dia akan buat perangai yang macam-macam. tapi bila dia tak ada rasa rindu pulak. especially bila nak tido. usually he will jump on my bed and buat-buat manja and baring next to me.

ntah. the conclusion...
i don't understand myself....

...is getting better

2010-02-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

hari ni hari yang ke-7 hari last tabby perlu makan ubat. tabby dah semakin sihat sekarang. dia dah ada selera makan dan semakin manja sekarang. walaupun tak seaktif dulu tapi nampaknya 2-3 hari ni dia dah mula menangkap nyamuk dan lalat lagi dan bermain-main lagi. bagusnya.....

we made it

2010-02-12T09:44:00.006+08:00

my kids had emerged as the champion in the bowling tournament last wednesday. okay la tu...we went training for only once (ini semua ad hoc punya kerja). right after chinese new year, they will go for the state level. it's 'really good', right? no training as well. hopefully, they can make it.

the babies...gone

2010-02-07T14:52:00.000+08:00

tabby had miscarriage after 3 days of bleeding. poor her. there, gone the babies. but, she is okay now. for those who wanted to adopt the babies...i think they are not so lucky because there is no next time of pregnancy. i'm going to spay her.

this is the latest photo of her....

aduhai si comel 2

2010-02-03T14:11:00.001+08:00

we went to meet vet this morning due to Bulat's condition which is not so well...dia tak boleh nak bergerak. kaki dia seem like paralysed..the doctor said he has sprained ankle.hmm...patut la..terpelecok rupa-rupanya budak ni..and..bawah kaki dia telah sedikit bengkak.

doctor kata lagi...mungkin dia ada terjatuh atau tersangkut kaki dia di mana-mana. i suspect he climbed the window and fell down. that's why...budak ni memang nakal tapi kesian juga dia.

so..the doctor gave him injections..after a few hours, now he can walk a bit..heehee

aduhai si comel

2010-02-02T23:14:00.000+08:00

we went to see vet. the doctor said tabby is okay. it's normal for her to get tired and she is going to give birth at any time now. it just that, if her condition get worst in these 3 or 4 days or she vomits, so i have to send her to the clinic immediately. selain daripada tu, dia ok2 aje...

si bulat pulak macam tak berapa sihat. i don't know what is happening to him. he cannot walk or move his hands. tangan dia semacam sakit. nak bawa pergi jumpa doctor....klinik dah tutup..furthermore, i had an english programme just now. i don't have any idea on what to do :-( aduhai.....kesian si comel yang satu ini...

the mother-to-be

2010-02-01T00:44:00.002+08:00

nampaknye tabby semakin sarat. she looks very weak. kesian dia. nampak macam penat. dia lebih banyak tidur dan merehatkan diri..nak jalan pun dia macam tak larat sangat..even nak duduk pun pergerakan dia agak slow sikit (kalau nak dibandingkan dia dengan dulu yang sangat aktif). tambahan pula, si bulat gangster tu asyik buli dia aje..

kalau nak ikut perkiraan, masanya akan sampai dalam masa 2 minggu lagi (kalau tak silap kira la...).

i'm thinking of taking her to see vet. i know her condition is not that serious. she can take care of herself. tapiii...saje....prihatin kot (",). i don't want thing that happened to tomtom is happening to her. i was too busy..i didn't pay more attention on him. in the end, i found him dead..drowning...

so...tak mau la macam tu lagi...aku sayang dia lebih dari apa yang ada. manakan tidak. waktu first time bawa dia balik rumah dulu, dia cuma sebesar dua tapak tangan aku yang comel ni...dia pun dah semacam ahli keluarga. it's for real. my mom bahasakan diri dia mbah (means grandma)...my niece bahasakan diri dia kakak pada tabby..and even..tabby telah berjaya buat orang-orang yang dulunya tak suka kucing, sekarang jadi sangat sayang dengan kucing.

the nearest example - my mom..kalau dulu, jangan harap nak bawa kucing masuk rumah..tapi sekarang, dia pulak yang tolong bagi makan pada kucing-kucing yang datang mengeow-ngeow minta makan kat rumah kami. yang paling tak sangka, dia boleh pergi ke supermarket dan beli makanan kucing untuk kucing-kucing tu... so nice.

*****

wow wee...

2010-01-29T00:50:00.000+08:00

keadaan perut tabby suda semakin membesar dan bulat..now da bole nampak she got belly..and dia pun da jadi semakin sensitive..no one can disturb her..even this evening she fought with one of the cats at the hostel..i tried to calm her down but then in the end i got scratch on my hands..sakit gile..tapi biasa la tu, dia memang garang memanjang. even dengan si bulat almost every day gaduh..memang tak bole diusik langsung. si bulat pulak, memang suka datang mengacau. in the end, every time i come back home from school, rumah yang dulu macam mini stadium skarang da upgrade jadi macam medan pertempuran. semakin bersepah semacam. until at one level, i need to stick all carpets and alas kaki with masking tape supaya tak tonggang terbalik. hmm...cats. besides, my schedule is very hectic nowadays. for almost every day i have meeting. after school there are things to do. and, almost every day i come back home at 6 or 7 o'clock. and almost every day as well i sleep at 2. no more good night wish :-( sometimes i feel going to school is not fun anymore..too much work and plus with people who don't want to understand other people's condition make the school life colourless. stress and tensed. i can't imagine what it will be next. this is only the 4th week of my school days. i hope, it would change and slow down a bit so that i will have more time for myself, my cats, my ctcat and my sayang :-)
o..btw, i got my new spectacle today...wow wee..indahnye dunia. i can see clearer now. semua benda bole nampak..punye la best, smpaikan masa otw balik dari kedai optometrist petang tadi semua sign board aku baca..hahaha :-) cumanye i need some time to get familiar with the new glasses. my eyes are feeling sore and kepala rasa pening sampai rasa macam nak muntah bila pakai cermin mata baru ni. other than that...ok2 aje...